it caught my eye

It was another day for me, one where I found myself at the office without a title or a job, taskless and wandering, wondering what I was even doing. I had entered a transitory season; finishing CGA and my time at the office as I entered into my new role as a squad leader. These few weeks had been awkward and new, leaving me with time on my hands and unrest in body.

So I sought out the hammock.

And I laid there, my hand reaching down to offer a little push and sway to the dreariness of bored flesh, letting my thoughts drift and my prayers ask questions about all my future held, about the questions of my heart and the desires of my spirit. I let my eyes be filled with the shades of green surrounding me, the ever growing grass and the full bodied trees that stood proud after the waiting seasons of winter.

I stayed there for a while, my body resting and swaying in the support of suspended fabric, thoughts dancing and eyes lazily focused when a fluttering movement caught my eye.

A bright red contrasted and complemented the green backdrop as a cardinal flew by.

An every day event.

A simple movement.

Yet He took me back.

He took me back to Exodus. To Moses walking up the mountain to meet with the Creator of the universe on behalf of a lost, rebellious and chosen people. He took me back to a gracious God who still offered everything their flesh wanted in this world, who ushered them into the Promised Land with all the blessings they hoped for.

He took me back to a decision made by a man.

A decision to refuse all else. A decision to see God for who He was.

To want Him.

And He imparted me with that emotion that must have consumed Him. He spoke to that part of my heart that so longs to be seen, to be wanted, to be known fully and completely.

Because I believe with every fiber of my being that it comes straight from the One who breathed us into existence.

Because that must be what He felt when this human, this one man amongst all other men who were rescued only to turn away; stopped.

A man who said no.

No to everything else that the world had to offer. No to wants and desires and the approval of those waiting below the clouds.

A man who said yes.

Yes to the presence of God. Yes to the One he knew was everything be could ever hope for, want, desire and need. Yes to a Love and relationship with the most Holy of Holies. Yes to Him. To seeing Him. To knowing Him. To wanting Him.

And how could God feel anything but overwhelmed?

By simply being chosen.

Because that’s the desire of my heart. It reaches to the depths of who I am, because I believe it seems from who He is.

So I want to see people. See them for who they are and all they have to offer. I want to see their strengths and their weaknesses, I want to see the potential and the greatness they don’t know they have. I want them to believe in themselves and who they were made to be. I want them to know they are known.

And I want to know Him.
As He knows me.

So here’s to changing our vision. To seeing through His lens and to being vulnerable and exposed and completely real. Here’s to seeing one another and the heart of Jesus in everyone surrounding us.

Here’s to being known.

Here’s to being loved for exactly who we are.

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5 thoughts on “it caught my eye

  1. Ryan says:

    Vanessa! I’m so glad that your writing again!

    Thank you for being you and shining like you do!

    He lives in you…!

  2. Misha Shonkwiler says:

    Beautiful and inspiring!
    This blessed me!
    “So here’s to changing our vision. To seeing through His lens and to being vulnerable and exposed and completely real. Here’s to seeing one another and the heart of Jesus in everyone surrounding us.
    Here’s to being known.
    Here’s to being loved for exactly who we are.”
    Love you woman! Praying for you. I hope you know that I’m here for you whenever you’re ready to talk.

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