it’s only the beginning

bud

I needed to get out, I needed a breath of fresh air, a moment, something, anything to quiet my racing mind and pounding heart. My emotional swinging outdid any roller coaster and it was time for me to get off the ride and find the nearest bathroom.

So outside I went; past the make-shift classroom and through the office doors into the warm sun and cool breeze of spring we all welcomed with joyful hearts. I found myself crossing the road to stand at the top of the hill, overlooking the back-yard property of an organization that after almost two years, is still continuing to change my life.

And I breathed deep.

With each breath I let my eyes scan the view around me. To my left there stood a tree, its bare branches reaching out towards me, the brownish grey bark fading into the background as my eyes rested on the tiny green bud rising out.

It was as if a time-out was taken in the world, in that one moment when the race in my head slowed down and my eyes caught a glimpse of hope in the beauty of my life through the beauty of this world.

“There’s always a wait, there’s always a process. Look at these trees, they have been bare all winter, waiting in earnest anticipation for the moment when spring will come and this season will at last be over.

They have been resting.

They have been preparing.

And even though this new season has come, there is still a wait, there is still a preparation. This bud is only the beginning, there is still more to come. These trees have waited with expectation and have now caught a glimpse of My faithfulness and My timing. I’m not finished though, there is more beauty, more growth, more waiting and preparation and resting to be had.

You are right where you need to be my love. So keep breathing.”

And the day came with the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. -Anais Nin
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One thought on “it’s only the beginning

  1. Ryan Otto says:

    Wow…I love reading your blogs. This one really helped a lot where I have felt anxiety’ attacks about the future and what’s next for me on the race! Thanks for sharing your heart to vulnerably and inspiring me and others along the way! God Bless you friend! Reading made me think of Songs of Solomon 2:11 and the song dance with me by Jesus Culture!

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