“You have a huge call on your life.”
That’s what I heard and it’s what I had heard before. Every bit of me wanted to receive it fully, to welcome it with open arms and a ready heart. But my head kept asking me what it even meant.
What the heck is a calling and what the heck was mine?
Here at CGA we’ve talked about it a lot. We’ve sat in the over-sized chairs and on the shedding tan carpet while giving it a few loose definitions, a tad bit of structure and an entire Monday afternoon to delve into discovering what ours actually is.
But throughout each conversation a quiet thought keeps rising in my head during the process of all the processing:
“Maybe the call on our lives is having our heart broken…”
A continual breaking; a continual walk towards intimacy with Him, our Creator and our Lover. Maybe it isn’t so much about what we do to bring Kingdom by way of saving orphan babies, raising the dead and discipling all the nations but more about being in a relationship with Him.
In the purest and simplest of ways.
Maybe He just wants us to break a little more so we can become a little more dependent on Him, a little more in love and a little more understanding of this grace we’ve so freely been given.
Maybe it’s not this mentality of go out and search the ends of the earth to have your heart broken so you can figure out what to do, but more so the act of having your heart broken so you can learn how to be, how to love and how to live a life worthy of the salvation and sonship you have received.
And maybe, just maybe, that through that intimate relationship with Him, maybe we begin to understand specific characteristics of His heart and by knowing Him, we begin to understand more of who we are and which characteristic of His heart we reflect.
And if we each express a different part of God, of His heart, of His character, than our very lives are a testimony to that. If we are in such a deep relationship with the Lord, if we experience intimacy with Him; shouldn’t our lives, our day to day, our very words and actions here on Earth reflect that?
And maybe that specific and unique reflection of God’s heart that we each have, maybe that in turn is our calling. But it is an action that stems from relationship, from intimacy and from simply being with the One who knows us best.